Want to know how to get your baby to nap longer than 30 minutes? Learn how I struggled with my son’s naps and how some simple changes made a big difference.
Before having children I worked full time and kept a reasonably active social life. Once my son Henry was born, one of the biggest challenges for me was adapting to such a different social calendar. Where were all of the adults? I wasn’t on Facebook (yet) and none of my friends lived in the area. I, like many first-time moms, clung desperately to the prospects of joining local mom’s groups and participating in mom and baby classes to fill this void (and to provide nurturing and educational content to my child’s day, blah, blah, blah).
Reflecting back on this time, joining a local mom’s group was one of the best decisions I made. I still connect with some amazing women and their families on a regular basis. The only problem was that I was introduced to a whole new world of social programming and found it difficult to prioritize activities. I did have five days to fill though. Why not just do ALL of them?
When my son was 5 months old we had programmed activities each day of the week. Boot camp for me a couple of mornings, music or swimming for him, and a standing mom’s group play date. These activities prevented us from getting bored, provided an outlet to ask questions about all things “baby” and gave me some much-needed adult conversation. I was ignoring the fact that these activities prevented my son from keeping a predictable daytime schedule. When he did nap, it was only for 30 mins. It just wasn’t enough sleep for anyone. I had to prioritize what I could do in those 30 minutes. Do I shower after boot camp? Probably a good idea, but those classes also made me hungry. Who’s kidding who? I always ate and then festered the rest of the day in my yoga pants. Attractive right?
Occasionally I would put Henry in the sling so that he would sleep longer. He loved it….provided I was moving. I tackled chores while he slept. Unloading the dishwasher was particularly challenging, but I did manage to master the washroom break. As Henry got older, carrying him in the sling became too difficult and the 30-minute naps became maddening for me. I had to make some serious changes.
What would I have done differently? A lot! And I did do it differently with my second son. You could set a watch by my second son Clark. He is nine months old and sleeps daily from 9:30 to 11:00 AM and from 2:00 to 3:30 PM. A bad nap day would still get us two, one-hour naps. I don’t cross my fingers when I put him down. He smiles, I walk away and I know that he will sleep. It is sooooo less stressful!t bigger, letting him sleep in the sling became unmanageable and the 30-minute crib naps became maddening for me. I finally realized that I needed to change the way I was structuring our days to make sure Henry had the opportunity to take long restful naps.
Here are my top tips for setting the stage for great naps:
Create a calm, relaxing, and safe sleep environment
- Make sure that your child’s room is dark. Use room darkening shades, towels, black construction paper, whatever you can find. Light suppresses the pineal gland (which is responsible for making and releasing the sleep hormone melatonin).
- Keep the room cool. An optimal sleeping temperature is 68 degrees (F).
- Be quiet. You don’t have to tiptoe, but respect the fact that your child is trying to sleep. Consider using a white noise machine or fan to block out environmental noises such as street traffic, neighbourhood pets, and other children playing in the house.
- Try to make the room as relaxing as possible.
Respect your child’s need to nap during the day
- Be respectful of naptime. Limit scheduled activities, outings, and errands during nap time.
- Stroller and car naps should be the exception, not the rule.
- Find other opportunities to spend time together when your child is well-rested.
Create a predictable nap time routine
- Consistency and predictability are important to babies and toddlers. When they know what to expect at naptime, it makes it easier for them to make the transition from waking to sleeping.
- Maintain the order of the routine to help your child know what to expect next.
- Three to five minutes is plenty of time for a sufficient nap routine. Naptime routine elements can include a diaper change, listening to music, singing a song or reading a short story.
Evaluate the timing of your child’s napping schedule
Babies can wake up early from a nap if they are overtired, but the same may be true if your child isn’t tired enough. Keep in mind the following average awake times and adjust accordingly:
- 0-3 months: awake for approximately 45 minutes to 1 hour between naps;
- 3-6 months: awake for approximately 1-2 hours between naps; and
- 6-12 months: awake for approximately 3 hours between naps.
If your baby frequently experiences short naps, then gently push awake time a little each day (by approximately 10-15 minutes) until they reach the average awake time. Just be careful to not push too hard and create a situation where your baby is overtired.
Rebecca,
Thanks for the event that you did with Bundles and Buzz. It was great. I just had a follow up question about naps. I asked about my 9 month old and naps. She takes 2 a day one that is 30 minutesish and another that is 2-2:30+ hours. At night I can get her down with minimal fuss, I have the same basic routine for naps but I just can’t keep her asleep. She does nurse before both naps as well as at night. She often falls asleep and then I will carry her to her crib. She will usually wake up as I’m laying her down. I talk/sing to her as I leave the room, at night she just talks or fusses and then falls asleep. During the day she just gets upset and cries, hard. Any ideas why this isn’t working. I don’t want to just let her cry, I don’t think naps should be this hard or traumatic for anyone. Thanks again for the info this weekend.
Hi Brianna,
If your daughter can fall asleep independently sometimes, then I would focus on helping her develop that skill some more. When you help a child along the sleep journey too much then it’s common to see short naps (though admittedly, she doesn’t seem to have a problem with the afternoon nap!). The same is true when you miss a child’s sleep window. Maybe 10:00 AM is a little late to start the nap. You can use a sleep log and play around with timing to see if it makes a difference. You might also want to take another look at room conditions during the day. Is there something different between the morning nap and the afternoon nap? Try to mimic night time conditions as much as possible.
Hope that helps!
Thank you for your help. We are still struggling a fair amount. I change her diaper, nurse her and lay her down while I hum, sing or talk quietly to her both at night and for naps. Most night she just goes to sleep on her own, if anything she just babbles or whines a bit. The room is about the same level of darkness for her naps and I know she is tired, I try to start this once she rubs her eyes. I thought by now it would have gotten easier but isn’t. She is just fighting me, I don’t know what to do. I let her cry it out today but she just screams and I don’t want to do that again. FYI most mornings she wakes up between 7:30 and 8.
Brianna,
Why don’t you schedule some time to chat with me by phone? You can book a free 15 minute consultation here: https://www.timetrade.com/book/DXS8P
Rebecca,
Thanks for your help. We have been doing great with nap times the last couple weeks. I did have a question, do new milestone affect sleep? We are just waiting for our daughter to take her first steps, she has been standing up on her own now for about a week. Would this affect her sleep schedule. She has been fighting all sleep for two days, naps and night time. I haven’t changed anything since what we are doing has been working, I’m not a fan of letting her cry her self to sleep. Do I need to change something or is this just a phase?
Absolutely Brianna….developmental milestones (rolling, crawling, standing, walking), travel and illness can all cause regression. Because she is learning a new skill, she would much rather be practicing that skill instead of sleeping. Give her lots of practice during the day to master her new skill. She may also be a little extra fatigued given all of the new movement, so she may be a little overtired by the time you put her down for naps and bedtime. Bumping naps and bedtime up by a little bit or giving her a little more time to wind down and prep for sleep may help to decrease the protesting. It should pass soon, so hang in there!
Thanks for this helpful information! Our 15 month old has struggled hugely with naps her whole life. She had a difficult start and has always been very intense, so maximum comfort has always been made available to her- almost always in the form of nursing. These days she is still breastfeeding, though mostly only for comfort. I’m having a really hard time getting her to sleep in her crib for naps. She is used to nursing to sleep and remaining on the breast for her hour-long nap (this is all she takes in the whole day, and seems very happy with it…). I feel I am holding her back by continuing to let her nurse to nap, so I have started putting her in her crib. I know it takes a long time for a toddler to adjust to something new, but she just can’t seem to sleep any longer than 30 minutes, sometimes after an hour of screaming. I know her sleep cycle lasts only 30 minutes, but I have no idea how to teach her to go back to sleep once 30 minutes are up!! Going in to soothe her makes her (if possible) even more furious. When I get her up she’s still tired, of course, and wants to nurse back to sleep. Should I let her CIO until she learns she has to take a longer nap? I don’t want her to spend the whole day screaming in there!!! Any advice would be so appreciated 🙂
Hi Kirsty,
Feeding to sleep is a common way to help a child to fall asleep. For some, it never becomes an issue and a baby/toddler can sleep beautifully even though there has been some assistance. For others, it leads to short naps and frequent night wakings. I would encourage you to first take a look at room conditions, to make sure she isn’t overtired when you put her down for a nap and to create a consistent nap routine to help her make the transition from being awake to falling asleep. Ultimately she needs to learn to resettle on her own, so yes, this can take time. If you are looking for more specific guidance and an action plan, please don’t hesitate to contact me directly at info@sugarplumsleep.com.
This article has some good points on how to put your baby to bed and I follow all of them but this doesn’t help lengthen naps. My baby has pitch darkness, music before sleep and white noise and still she wakes up after 30 minutes. What can I do to fix that? She sleeps at night fine, 12 hours, only waking up for milk once. What can I do to lengthen the nap?
Short naps can also result from using a prop to help your baby fall asleep. How does she fall asleep during nap time?
My daughter is 2 months old and only sleeps 30 minutes during the day unless we are out in the stroller or lays down in bed with me. You mentioned that at her age she should not be up longer then 45 minutes between naps. Her feeding sessions take an hour- 20 minutes on each boob, diaper change in between and burping. So should I put her down 45 minutes after her feed? But then she would be up for 1 hr and 45 min from her previous nap. I follow the schedule eat, activity, sleep through the day.
Babies 3 months of age and younger are typically able to stay awake 45 – 60 minutes before needing to go back down again. That awake time includes feeding/burping/changing.
I will echo what Nabz said. Our 5 month old is put in the crib still awake. His windows are blacked out, and we use a fan and white noise. He naps for 30 minutes on the dot. We put him down the same way at night, except he’ll sleep for 11-12 hours straight. How do we lengthen the naps? Not enough sources write specifically about extending naps. They all write about how to put them to sleep, not what to do when they wake up after 30 minutes every nap.
Naps can also be short if a baby is 1) overtired when they are going to sleep or 2) not tired enough. It can sometimes be a function of modifying their awake time to see if they can lengthen their sleep. Some babies switch to 2 naps as early as 5 months. You can check out this guest post for more guidance on determining appropriate awake windows for your baby. http://momstown-toronto.blogspot.ca/2012/10/are-you-struggling-with-your-childs-naps.html
My 8-month old has taken 30-45 minute naps for much of the past several months, although at times (3-4x a week), he will take a longer one of over an hour. I can’t figure out what causes so much variance and so many short naps. He can get himself to sleep just fine at night (no pacifier), but struggles during the day. He will play in his crib & then fuss for a long time until I finally lay him down, give him his pacifier, and rub his back to try to just get him to take a nap. I feel like our schedule is appropriate (I aim for 2-3 hours of wake time depending on how he acts). I suspect the paci is causing the short naps but I don’t know how else to get him to sleep Independently — he has a very low sleep drive during the day and can’t seem to always get through his sleep cycles. But when he wakes up he is often cranky and I know he would benefit from longer regular sleep. He is also starting to pull up in his crib so getting him to fall asleep is getting even harder. Any help?
Hi,
My daughter will be 6 months next week. I have finally gotten her able to fall asleep independently in her crib for all naps. Sometimes she fusses/talks and occasionally tears. It can take her anywhere from 5-20 minutes to fall asleep. I am plagued by the short nap. She naps for about 35-40 minutes each nap. I have tried the wake to sleep method to extend her naps, which did not work. I have been trying crib hour for the week so see if that will help but so far she just gets frustrated after waiting for so long. She has a consistent nap and bedtime routine – dark room, music, diaper change, sleep sack, cuddle – crib. Her wake times are usually about 2-2.5 hours. Sometimes shorter in the morning. I go based off her cues (yawn, rubbing eyes, etc).
Any tips on extending her naps?
Jen
Hi Jen,
Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you have done a lot of work to improve your daughter’s ability to fall asleep on her own. Often, short naps are a result of a baby relying on a prop to help them fall asleep. Even after the prop has been removed, some babies will just need some more time to work on extending their naps. I suggest keeping a log book so that you can celebrate those times when she does make it past the 45 minute mark. The log book will also help to understand her timing windows a bit better. At 6 months, many babies are able to stay awake for longer stretches, nearing 2.75-3 hours. If it’s taking her longer and longer to fall asleep, then she may need some additional awake time. I wouldn’t enforce the hour either (especially if she only sleep for 30 minutes) but encourage that you give her some time to see if she will resettle.
If you aren’t seeing any movement in nap length in another couple of weeks, please feel free to contact me at info@sugarplumsleep.com to set up a complimentary 15-minute consultation.
My lo is 11 months old and she slept beautifully until she was 6 months old, that’s when we stopped swaddling her. It has been a downward spiral ever since, naps are 20 mins or less, she gets up 2 (if not more) times a night. I’ve done CIO and it was working but then she got sick and I had to start all over again. I’m so exhausted, I have a very good schedule for her. I think she just hates sleep! Lol. I have 2 older boys (9&10) they bring home every virus the school has and she gets it the worst out of all of us. Should I keep letting her CIO? Help!
Hi Michelle,
It sounds like you have been working on trying to improve her sleep for a while now. Maybe the approach you are using needs some adjustment (particularly now that she is older). Illness can definitely cause some regression but you should be able to get things back on track in short order when a baby has a solid foundation. I’d be happy to chat with out more about the specifics of your daughter’s sleep. Can you book a 15-minute call?
I have to get my boys off the school bus in a few minutes. Would I be able to schedule a call for tomorrow morning? Once the boys are home it’s very hectic around here a hard to have a conversation.
Hey Michelle, I would ask if you could use the on-line calendar to book a call. Looking forward to chatting with you!
I’ll book it asap! Thank you